I took it to mean there is so much more to life than worrying about the minutiae of things. I always thought it a funny piece of advice but utterly transformative. This was a piece of advice given to me at university by a friend when I was feeling down about loads of things going on at the time. He also said “nobody likes a smart arse” and “don’t be a dick”.Īgain, I wish I’d listened rather than finding out for myself.įrom mother to daughter: never be financially dependent on a manįiona Cameron, New South Wales, Australia
I wish I’d listened to him rather than finding out for myself. My boss once gave me this very useful advice in the sphere of work: “Sometimes it is better to apologise than to ask for permission.” ‘Don’t do too good a job.’ Photograph: Alistair Berg/Getty Images And finally, some whimsical responses I’ve given that advice to others, over the years. When she was showing the area I was to do, her advice was: don’t do too good a job. My cousin Elizabeth was painting a big, new house, to a deadline. I base my go-for-it attitude on the acronym: FAIL = First Attempt In Learning. My dear dad said to me: “Nobody ever learned anything by getting it right.” I tell that to people a lot. I was upset about something I’d done which had turned out disastrously.
But it’s much more important to be nice.” In the special needs department at my daughter’s school (many years ago) a poster was just inside the entrance. You wouldn’t worry what people think of you if you knew how seldom they do. I can never really know what others think of me, and anyway it’s none of my business. ‘Wake up at the same time every day.’ Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo On self esteem Since then, I have never, ever said I don’t have time. Twenty years ago, when someone in my yoga class complained of not having time to practise during the week, the teacher replied sharply. It is a recipe for insanity.” I have passed that on to numerous people who have struggled with guilt over situations where they have no control. I received some advice myself which I took to heart: “Do not take responsibility where you have no authority. When I was first in practice I used to agonise over patients who were harming themselves by their choices, despite my earnest and repeated advice. It isn’t about what you have or don’t have it’s about what you see and how you see it.
Sometimes it’s enough if they are perfect to 70 or 80%.” This was advice given to me at 26 by the best manager I’ve ever had, empowering me while teaching some work-life balance at the same time. “Sometimes it’s not necessary that things are perfect to 100%. Lyndsey Carter, Devon, UK, quoting from The Mindful Cook Written in the margin of our family sauce recipe by my Sicilian grandmother, Carmela Lombardi: “Don’t be stingy, but don’t overdo.” She meant it about parmesan, but I try to apply it to everything in life. ‘Use your best dress, your best porcelain.’ Photograph: Alamy On perfectionism I think one advice I remind myself of (after a close encounter with near fatal disease) is this: use your best dress, your best porcelain, drink your best wine don’t save it for later – later can be too late – if it makes you happy, use it now. Whether I was getting aggravated about how little progress I had made on a project, lack of help with household chores, some imperfection in the garden, repairmen not showing up, whining parents at school who nevertheless refuse to lift a hand, or whatever, when I tell myself to lower my standards and be happy with the progress that’s been made so far, I have always felt much better. It could be worse!” And guess what, it works every time. My advice to myself when I feel overly frustrated is: “Lower your expectations! Be happy with what you’ve got cuz it’s probably good enough. We are programmed for success, but success usually means that the goalposts get moved so then success has been redefined, and happiness is still out of reach. Success doesn’t lead to happiness happiness leads to success, so choose what makes you happy. It has guided me ever since.Īndrea McIntyre, Canada, citing Shakespeare’s Hamlet On happinessįor happiness, three things are required. This was given to me by my grandfather in his beautiful calligraphy when I was about 10. Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel. The captain said: “I always say that I’d rather be down here wishing I was up there than up there wishing I was down here.” Never forgotten it! Great advice about patience when on a plane in the US that was delayed in taking off. Don’t wait for the storm to pass … Gene Kelly in Singin’ in the Rain.
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